this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize