Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
