The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
