1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
