that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize