Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
