Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
