so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
