At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
