is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
