Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
