Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We left the knife in your bed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
