I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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