remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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