You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
