Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
