Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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