did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
