fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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