What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
