so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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