Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
