would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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