I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
