i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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