Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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