Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
