How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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