and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
