There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
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