Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize