I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
