I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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