Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
