i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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