My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
