I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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