Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
