They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
So squirting runs in the family.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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