yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
