ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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