Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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