I wish I could teleport
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Randomize
