it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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