I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
