No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
3 2 1 whiskey
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
