you traded sex for a burrito?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
