I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
