oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
