dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
soo... how was my night?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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