I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
farters have to be the big spoon...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
