Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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