Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Holy sore nipples Batman
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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