I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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