Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
