the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize