Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
