And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Randomize
