I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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