you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
