he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize