I puked a lego.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
